


Show and Tell

by TheWritingGiant



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: F/M, See trigger warnings in the top notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:46:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29316558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWritingGiant/pseuds/TheWritingGiant
Summary: After a month of dating an opportunity presents itself for Hailey to really open up to Jay. Does she take it? And how will Jay react?
Relationships: Jay Halstead/Hailey Upton
Comments: 3
Kudos: 85





	Show and Tell

**Author's Note:**

> **TRIGGER WARNINGS** : this story contains mentions and descriptions of abuse and attempted suicide. If those things are at all a trigger for you please don't read. Mental health and well being are far more important than fanfiction.

Hailey's eyes fluttered open, and all at once, she was awake and alert. Holding back her groan, she grabbed her phone off the bedside table to check the time. It was only ten after five in the morning; her alarm wasn't set to go off for nearly an hour and a half. She wished she could just stay in bed, roll over and allow the warmth and rhythmic breathing of the body behind her, lull her back asleep. But unfortunately, insomnia really didn't work that way.

She eased herself out of bed as gently and quietly as possible, so not to disturb her bedmate and took a second to look at him. Jay; it had been a month since that night in the bar since they took that step and became more. More than partners, more than friends, and honestly Hailey couldn't remember happier in a relationship, not for a long time. Jay looked so peaceful when he was asleep, younger. His face was relaxed, free of the furrowed brow he carried at work. His hair, usually gelled so not a strand was out of place, stood rumpled against the pillows, though that probably her fault. With one last look at her slumbering boyfriend, she righted the blanket over him and tiptoed out the door. 

Once out in the living room, Hailey went through her usual insomnia routine. Brew a cup of tea, grab a yoghurt from the fridge and settle on the couch with a book. Usually, she steered towards a novel, something that would hopefully help quiet her brain and ease her back to sleep, but she knew that wasn't going to happen this time. It was too late, too close to her alarm going off to warrant even trying to fall back asleep again. So Hailey grabbed a couple of cookbooks from the shelf. She was up, and so long as they didn't get called in early, there was no reason she couldn't make them a decent breakfast. It would be a nice change from the usual coffee's to go and a pastry on the way. 

Hailey looked over a few recipes and weighed them against what was in her fridge. Breakfast burritos it was. By the time the clock struck six, the blonde had lost herself in the process, shredding the cheese, chopping the onions, scrambling the eggs. It wasn't until she was halfway through frying the bacon when she felt a pair of arms slide around her waist. "Smells good," Jay mumbled into her neck. His voice was thick, and his body warm with sleep.

"I figured we could change it up a bit, have a sit-down meal to start the day," she twisted her neck and pressed a kiss to the side of his head. "Want to get the coffee going?"

"Sure," he pressed his lips to shoulder where the collar of her pyjama shirt had slipped down. Opening the cupboard over the sink, he pulled down a couple of mugs. "Since we're going to have a fancy breakfast, want some fancy coffee go with it?" 

Hailey had a Keurig machine. Usually, they'd just filled a pod with some Folgers and called it a day. Still, she did have some speciality flavours capsules for that she held back for special occasions. 

"Well, I'm not sure I'd call breakfast burritos fancy," she teased and pulled the bacon out of pain. "But that'd be nice."

Jay snagged two Irish Cream pods, his personal favourite, down for them. He knew Hailey favoured the Vanilla Caramel, but she was out, so he made a mental note pick some up for her next time he was shopping. Once the first mug was brewing, Jay leaned against the counter and watched Hailey assemble the first burrito.

"So, what are you doing up so early," he asked and snuck a bit of cheese. "Not that I'm complaining about the chance to have an actual breakfast."

"Insomnia," Hailey responded and closed the wrapped flipping it over just to make sure it warmed all the way through.

" _Again?_ " the blonde just shrugged her shoulders. "Hailey, this is the fourth time this week." And about the dozenth in the month they'd been together.

"It happens sometimes," she dismissed as she plated the food and passed it over to him.

"Is it stress?" Jay handed her the coffee and readied his own.

"Could be," Hailey agreed and took a sip of warm liquid before turning back to the stove. "Get started on that before it gets cold."

Jay frowned as he took her in. "Hailey," he started softly, unsure if what he was thinking was something he should bring up, especially so early in the morning. "Is it about your dad?"

Hailey sighed and closed up the second wrap. "Probably," she admitted.

"I know we haven't talked about it much since his surgery," Jay grabbed his coffee. "But-"

"Jay," she cut off, but he held up a hand to stop her.

"I'm here," he said. "To listen whenever you're ready to talk about it. If you ever want to talk about it. That's it. That's all I wanted to say."

Hailey let out a deep breath, as Jay took a bite of his burrito. He let out a pleased moan that made her smile. "Look," she ran a hand through her hair. "I _do_ want to talk to you about it."

"But," Jay encouraged as he took a sip of coffee.

"It's a lot," she shook her head, though she wasn't sure why. To ward off the dark memories maybe. " I guess I'm just still trying to figure out how."

"Okay," Jay nodded and turned his focus back his food.

"Yeah?" Hailey lifted her eyebrows in surprise.

"Like I said, whenever you're ready," he stuffed the last bite of his burrito into his mouth. He stood from the island to put his plate in washing machine pressing a kiss to the back her head along the way. "I'm just glad it's something you want to do. Someday."

"It is," she nodded and finished up own meal. Cleaning up her dishes Hailey wrapped her arms around Jay's waist and propped her chin on his chest to look up at him. "But do you want to know something else I'd like to do right now?"

"What?"

She took his hand in hers and started to walk back towards the bathroom, the shower. Jay grinned. "And you say I have good plans." He reached for the hem of her shirt. Tugging it up her body and over her head as her laughter filled the room. This was the best way to start the morning. 

*

It was a slow day at work. Hailey had checked in with a couple of CIs and helped Kevin box up the files and evidence for a case that they were passing off to Narcotics. The only thing she had left to do was finish off a couple of reports before she could call it a day.

She had just sat down at her desk to get started when her phone buzzed from her pocket. It was a text from her friend Stephany. _'Hey Girl,'_ it read. _'Just a reminder, no practice tonite. Pool's closed for refinishing. Be back to normal next week if you can still give a hand.'_

Hailey chimed off her thanks, and a let you know, to Emma when an idea struck her. She was just about to fire off another message when Jay walked into the bullpen, finally back from court, and made a beeline for the break room as he tugged the tie loose from around his neck. She tucked her phone away. What she was going to text him she could just ask him in person.

Walking into the room, she closed the door behind her to give them a little bit of privacy. "How was the trial?"

"It was alright," Jay said simply and poured them each a coffee. "My testimony went fine. The public defender didn't really do much with their cross. Pretty much an open and shut one for the State's Attorney's I think."

She took the mug from him with a grateful smile. "So then why do you look like someone took away the keys to your truck."

"First," he pointed a finger at her. "Don't even joke about that."

Hailey chuckled. "And second?"

"Nothing," he pulled the tie free his neck and twisted open the first few buttons of his shirt. "I'm just not meant to be in a suit all day, that's all. Too uncomfortable."

Hailey looked him up and down. "Yeah, no," she shook her head. "You're wrong."

"Oh yeah," Jay smirked at her and tweaked the jacket he wore. "This does it for you, huh?"

"I'm just saying, it's nice to see you in something other than a henley and jeans from time to time."

Jay shot her a wink and jutted his chin towards the door. "How are things here?"

"Quiet," she answered. "I mean Kevin did lock Ruzek in the cage for about an hour, to give us some peace. But then he ate some lunch and felt bad, so he freed him."

Jay barked out a laugh. "Please tell me you got it on video?" Ruzek was the definition of trying on a slow workday. The pen clicking, the desk drumming, jumping out of his seat to follow whoever had gotten out of their chair, for whatever reason, asking if he could come. It irritated all of them, but he was surprised it was Kevin who snapped first this time. 

"Kim did, she said she'll send it around once Adam stops pouting," the blonde explained. "Hey, you doing anything tonight?"

"Nope," Jay shook his head. "I mean I need to change, and I got a meeting with a CI on the books, so that might take a few, but that's it."

"That's fine," Hailey waved. "I got a few reports I still need to finish, anyway. But can we meet up later?"

"When and where?" 

"It's a surprise," she shot him a sly grin. "I'll text the details you when I'm done."

"Alright," Jay glanced at the door and saw no one in sight, so he dropped his lips to the top of Hailey's head in a quick kiss on his way to the locker room. He was a cop, a detective; he was down for a little mystery.

*

Jay was confused when he pulled up to the address Hailey had sent him later that evening, to say the least. It was nearly nine o'clock and his meet with his CI, Blake, went way too long. First, the man was almost an hour and a half late. Then he tried to give Jay the run around with a few weak leads. In the end, the detective put a stop to the rambling with a reminder that Blake only had a week to cough up solid intel or be he'd booked on his original weapons charge. Now all Jay really wanted was a beer and some quality time on the couch with Hailey. Instead, he was at some random building just north of Lincoln Park, he wasn't sure, but it looked like a community centre. He doubled checked Hailey's text just to be sure, but there was no mistake. Getting out of the truck, Jay sent a message off to his girlfriend. _'I'm here.'_

His phone chirped back immediately. _'Meet me at the front doors.'_

Jay made the trek up the steps and read the sign he found along the way. Bauer-Lackie Natatorium, what the hell did that mean? When he got to the double doors, he saw Hailey waiting inside the lobby and waved. She shot him a dimpled smile and opened the doors to let him in. The smell of the place filled his nostrils at once, chlorine, this place was a pool. Suddenly memories of Saturday mornings spent on a pool deck, shivering alongside a half a dozen other kids at swimming lessons sprang to mind.

"Felling like a little late night swim?" he grinned at the blonde. "Because I'd be down for that if it means you in a bikini."

"Not this time," Hailey smirked and looped an arm through his. "But I'll keep that in mind."

"So what's up?" Jay allowed her to tug him down the hall. "What is this place?"

"Did you know that I used to dive?" she asked.

Jay blinked. "No, I don't think you've mentioned that." But he could see it. Hailey was lean, but she was athletic, though he would have pegged track or soccer as more her style.

"Well I did," she stopped them wall lined with trophies, plaques and pictures. "Started when I was six. After watching the Atlanta Olympics that summer, I became obsessed. Pestered my parents until they signed me up for lessons that fall. Kept it up all the way through university."

Jay broke away from her to looked at all the awards. A proud smiled spread across his face when he saw her name on a bunch from the mid-'90s to the late-'00s. "You were good."

"I was alright," she smiled. "And I loved it. Now, I help out a friend who took over the club as head coach. At least when work allows."

"Well, that's cool," he retook her hand. "Is this what you wanted to show me?"

"Not quite," Hailey shook her head and tugged on his hand to continue down the hall. "C'mon."

Hailey led them through the building, down a flight of stairs, and out onto the pool deck. They walked to the diving side and stood at the edge. Jay fought to stay still and not step back. The pool was empty, and it was massive. "How deep is that thing?"

"Five meters," Hailey answered and grinned at his ruffled brow. "That's about sixteen feet."

He let out a whistle that echoed around the empty arena. "Come on," Hailey gestured to the stairs. Jay looked up and saw the platforms sticking out over the empty well. "Up here."

Together they walked up the stairs of the tower. Past the three and five-metre platforms all the way to the top. Hailey strolled out onto the board as casually as could be all the way to the edge. Jay followed behind far more cautiously.

"Whoa," he stepped back, it was a lot higher than it looked from the ground. He felt a bit dizzy and leaned against the rails that framed the platform. Maybe if the pool had been filled with water, it would have been different, something there to break up the sheer drop onto the tiles below. But then again water was clear, so who knew how much help it would be.

"Imagine taking a running jump head first," Hailey settled rail across from him.

"No, thanks."

She let out a short laugh and bit her lip. Jay felt the attitude shift in the air.

"I know, you know, I lied," she started. "About talking to my Dad."

Ah, that was the conversation they were having. "I wouldn't really call that a lie Hailey," he dismissed, tucking his hands in his pockets. "A fib, maybe. Not even."

Hailey smiled, but it didn't quite meet her eyes. "Still, thank you for letting it stand. For giving me the time I needed to wrap my head around things."

"Of course."

"I also meant what I said this morning," she kept going. "I want to tell you about my dad, what it was like growing up with him. This is how I can do that."

"By inducing vertigo?" He quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Consider it a visual aid," she shrugged and offered him a genuine smile.

"Alright," Jay nodded. "I'm listening."

"I went to see him," Hailey sighed. "I had every intention of following your advice. Talking with him, trying to clear the air and all that. But when I got to his room and saw him through the window, I froze."

Jay watched as she swallowed hard against the building emotions. He wanted to walk across the platform and wrap her up in his arms, but he couldn't. She'd set herself away from him for a reason.

"I saw him, and my stomach just dropped out. And I was brought right back here," she gestured around them. "To a night a lot like tonight."

"It was Spring Break, my junior year, I had just turned seventeen," she continued. "I was working here, helping out at the diving camp that week. On the last day, the pools were being drained for some tile repair or something. I stayed back to help with the prep, and I guess it slipped my mind to call them. To let them know what was going on."

Hailey looked up at Jay. His face was neutral, but his eyes weren't, they were rimmed with so much emotion it was hard to look at. He nodded at her, encouraging her to keep going if she was ready if she wanted to. 

"I didn't know my mom was out with the other car. Or that my dad wanted to go somewhere, a bar probably," she looked at her feet. "I wasn't two steps inside the house before he threw a beer bottle at my head. It shocked me so much I just fell to the ground."

Jay clenched his hands into fists. He always knew he would never like whatever stories she chose to share, but didn't think it would make him so angry so quickly.

"He started yelling at me, kicking me. He wanted to know where I was, why'd I'd kept the car so long. But he wouldn't believe me when I told him. He wouldn't stop," Hailey took a deep breath and pushed her hair out of her face. "Then he grabbed my brother's tennis racket. I think it took three swings, maybe, before it broke over my arm. But he still kept hitting me with it."

_"Jesus, Hailey,"_ Jay couldn't hold back his gasp. He felt like throwing up.

She turned and walked closer to the edge of the platform again. "I don't remember leaving the house. I don't remember how I got here. Or breaking into the building. Climbing the tower. And I don't remember setting myself at the edge this board. Ready to jump into the empty pool. Let gravity and hard tile do the work."

Jay watched as she raised her arms out to the sides and rose on the tips of her toes, knees bending, ready to jump. His heart leapt to his throat as he watched her. He was prepared to lunge at her, drag her back from the edge. "Then the janitor turned the lights on," Hailey stepped back, and Jay let out the breath he was holding. "I fell backwards onto the matting, and it snapped me out of whatever daze I was in."

"Hailey…

"It could have so easily gone the other way," she kept going. "I could have fallen forward, had a thirty-five mile an hour drop onto tile and concrete. I was so deep in my pain that I just wanted to be free of all of it: the anger and sadness, the yelling and violence. I had gotten to the point where I thought my only way out was to end it. My dad drove me to the edge, Jay, literally."

She stepped across the distance between them and rested her hands on his chest, looking up at him. "I know you have regrets about your dad and what went down between the two of you before he died. The things you learned after he was gone, things that you could have forgiven him for. I'm sorry you didn't get that chance," she traced her nails back and forth, gently. "But Jay, what my dad did, what he nearly drove me to do, I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive him for that. And honestly, I don't if I'll ever want to."

Jay stilled her hands against him and wrapped his arms around her. He kissed the crown of the head, and tucked her tighter against him, squeezing her close. His throat was tight; he wasn't sure what to say. He wanted it to be the right thing, but he wasn't sure what that was. There was only one thing that came to mind. "Thank you," Jay reached up and burrowed his fingers through her loose waves, drawing her even closer. "Thank you for trusting me with this."

Hailey nodded against his collar bone and wrapped her arms around his waist, stroking her fingers over the skin above his jeans. They held each other close and time slipped away until Hailey pulled back. "You ready to get out of here?"

"If you are," he brushed a wisp of hair off her face as she nodded. "I'm kinda hungry, you up for some deep dish?"

"Mmmh," she brushed her lips over his. "Sounds perfect."

Jay smiled and took her hand as they made their way down the tower. "So," she grinned as they stepped back down onto the deck, the teasing note had returned to her voice. "How much convincing is it gonna take to get you to jump off the high dive with me? When the pool reopens, I mean?"

"Oh uh-uh," Jay shook his head vehemently. _"No way."_

"Oh c'mon," Hailey pleaded. "We'll take it slow, start at poolside, work our way up."

"Not happening," Jay denied. "That is _way_ too high."

"Don't even," Hailey tipped her head back and laughed; it was good to hear. "Didn't you used to jump out of helicopters and airplanes?"

"Yeah with a helmet on my head and a parachute on my back."

"Details," Hailey waved it away and tucked herself closer to his side as they walked out the door. "Please?"

"Nope."

They continued back and forth in kind as they trekked back to their cars. Jay wasn't budging, but Hailey wasn't going to give up either.

"Alright, we'll table this for now," she slid into the driver seat of her Jeep. "Want to head to mine. I'll pick up the pizza?" 

"I'll swing by the store and grab some beer," he gave her a quick kiss. "See you in a bit."

Hailey watched as he got into his truck and pulled out of the lot, giving a quick honk of his horn on his way. She looked back at the building that had once been her greatest refuse and very nearly her end and smiled. She'd be back, with Jay in tow she was sure. She'd get him up on those boards with her. It would take some convincing, but they had time. And she had some choice bikinis and a building with a hot tub that she could use to try and swing things her way.

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently, this is one of the things that happens when I fall asleep watching old diving competitions on youtube. Thanks for reading


End file.
